You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
