they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
