Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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