Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
