toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
