Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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