i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
