left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My bed smells like the plague
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
