covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's shark week go big or go home
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
