i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
