i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
