i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
a search helicopter?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
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