matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
