respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
