You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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