curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
