Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
