I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
