How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The best revenge is premature balding
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
