whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
