I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
