Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
