Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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