At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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