She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
