whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
