problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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