At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
