i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
