check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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