I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
