the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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