She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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