Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
