No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
