everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
