totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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