Just cropdusted the office
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
