you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
