your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
