no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
