Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
