i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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