I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The air was thick with penises
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
