I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
