He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Michael Bay diarrhea
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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