69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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