sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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