I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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