Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The struggles of a small town man whore
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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