Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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