Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
