If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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